In our digital now where everyone is a director, producer, actor there is a shortage of viable ideas. We can Cut-Up, Mash-up, Mix & Crowdsource, but few want to invest the time and energy to make a fully resonate mythology which is cohesive from the ground up (or rather everyone wants to build the world but few have the resources to do so). For all of us, that's what the 'You Do the Rest' Series is devoted to: The seeds of future projects, daydreams, nightmares or simply grist for the the industrial mill grinding up and mechanizing our culture & ourselves. (Please feel free to submit your plot abstracts/pitches to me for future episodes)
May our Corporate Gods be with You!
Dr. Con
S01E1: The McPope
From "The Immediate Future is Yesterday" Files: http://www.kurzweilai.net/factory-grown-meat-is-coming
http://www.kurzweilai.net/worlds-first-lab-grown-burger-is-eaten-in-london
Our Hero, -- Michael 'Straight as Hell' Jones --Straight from the pages of Dan Brown (if Dan Brown was capable of original thinking and not just rehashing his betters like Robert Anton Wilson ( Dan 'I figured out how to monetize some weird hippies' Brown)) an Ex-Detective who knows too much but doesn't know how it will help is contacted by the last surviving descendant of Jesus H. Christ.
After some flirting and awkward pauses they get down to business. It seems all of Jesus's descendents are being brutally butchered and experimented on. Thinking she's mad (inbreeding has genetic downsides) or that extraterrestrials are trying to 'out' god Michael Calls his friend @ the Vatican who is part of the Super Secret Gay Conspiracy, and is the chief archivist of the Super Deluxe Vatican Secret Library.
Relics are Being Stolen!
Fast forward past a number of relevant and irreverent scenes which you masters of Fan Fiction would write a heck of a great deal better than me and I'm losing my patience for this 'straight to streaming' blockbuster…
Wait! Wait! I messed up, it doesn’t make any sense without an earlier scene; Michael runs into his creepy uncle on his mother's side @ Burning Man, who tells him this guy who is way, way hella creepier than his uncle (His uncle works for Yahoo so he’s just sort of 90s cool but is now way behind the times- He still carries a PDA!) tells him that an Evangelical preacher who is a billionaire (created the Christian Porn Network) is doing a hostile takeover of McDonalds and the (Norwegian-Chinese WGM (We Grow Meat) conglomerate.
Ok, phew! I feel like you know the rest of this, anyhow so we’ll skip the cars and cyberstalking scenes right to the end.
Michael barely stops the use of stem cells from Christ’s Descendents and Jesus’s DNA from the stolen relics, to create legitimate ‘Hosts.’ Honest of god to human flesh sacraments’ burgers to be served @ revamped McDonalds equipped with AI confessionals and “Super God Me’ cola additives which were ‘really’ the Lord’s Blood. We’re all relieved because even if its from a petri dish cannibalism is way way way creepier than billionaire evangelicals and children today are kind of comforted by ammoniated pink goo since it smells like ‘the best thing on the plate’ since parental unit 1 lost their job.
OR DID HE? (probably find out in season 7 after grateful youtube directors send me parts of their franchise money)
Until next time or you do it for yourself,
Dr. Con
http://www.kurzweilai.net/worlds-first-lab-grown-burger-is-eaten-in-london
Our Hero, -- Michael 'Straight as Hell' Jones --Straight from the pages of Dan Brown (if Dan Brown was capable of original thinking and not just rehashing his betters like Robert Anton Wilson ( Dan 'I figured out how to monetize some weird hippies' Brown)) an Ex-Detective who knows too much but doesn't know how it will help is contacted by the last surviving descendant of Jesus H. Christ.
After some flirting and awkward pauses they get down to business. It seems all of Jesus's descendents are being brutally butchered and experimented on. Thinking she's mad (inbreeding has genetic downsides) or that extraterrestrials are trying to 'out' god Michael Calls his friend @ the Vatican who is part of the Super Secret Gay Conspiracy, and is the chief archivist of the Super Deluxe Vatican Secret Library.
Relics are Being Stolen!
Fast forward past a number of relevant and irreverent scenes which you masters of Fan Fiction would write a heck of a great deal better than me and I'm losing my patience for this 'straight to streaming' blockbuster…
Wait! Wait! I messed up, it doesn’t make any sense without an earlier scene; Michael runs into his creepy uncle on his mother's side @ Burning Man, who tells him this guy who is way, way hella creepier than his uncle (His uncle works for Yahoo so he’s just sort of 90s cool but is now way behind the times- He still carries a PDA!) tells him that an Evangelical preacher who is a billionaire (created the Christian Porn Network) is doing a hostile takeover of McDonalds and the (Norwegian-Chinese WGM (We Grow Meat) conglomerate.
Ok, phew! I feel like you know the rest of this, anyhow so we’ll skip the cars and cyberstalking scenes right to the end.
Michael barely stops the use of stem cells from Christ’s Descendents and Jesus’s DNA from the stolen relics, to create legitimate ‘Hosts.’ Honest of god to human flesh sacraments’ burgers to be served @ revamped McDonalds equipped with AI confessionals and “Super God Me’ cola additives which were ‘really’ the Lord’s Blood. We’re all relieved because even if its from a petri dish cannibalism is way way way creepier than billionaire evangelicals and children today are kind of comforted by ammoniated pink goo since it smells like ‘the best thing on the plate’ since parental unit 1 lost their job.
OR DID HE? (probably find out in season 7 after grateful youtube directors send me parts of their franchise money)
Until next time or you do it for yourself,
Dr. Con
